Dog Shampoo for Cats?
In the entire history of sneaky cats my Yazmin was definitely the sneakiest!
That fur ball masquerading as a cat could confound me at every turn. No matter how clever the ruses that I employed were, she would guess what was coming and find a way to outwit me. Her avoidance tactics were particularly fine-tuned when it came to grooming.
The Fur Ball
Yazmin was a Himalayan, a breed which is basically a cross between a Persian and a Siamese. Unfortunately when the breed was evolved, nature decided to select the most unfortunate combination of attributes from the gene pool. This meant that what I invested in was a mountain of fur with a huge intellect and an even bigger mouth.
Long haired cats require regular grooming to prevent their coats from becoming matted. Their long fur also means that they have the odd toilet accident and if they sit near cars and pick up any oil then it gets clagged up and they can’t clean it off themselves. Occasionally I would have to bath Yazmin to clean her up and she took a very dim view of these events. She particularly hated being shampooed. I usually used dog shampoo because I shared with my neighbour who had a Jack Russell. Yazmin hated bath time so much that she would never enter the bathroom for any reason. If I so much as walked towards the bathroom she would be gone in an instant. If I picked her up and walked towards the bathroom she would claw me to pieces.
She was able to recognise the bottle of dog shampoo and so there was no chance of trying to bath her elsewhere. I would have to confine her to her cat carrier to get her into the bathroom and wear body armour whilst I tried to get her into the bath.
To make matters worse, she could also recognise the grooming brush. I only had to open the draw that I kept it in and she would be off. If I tried to use it on her she would viciously attack me. It became impossible to groom or bath her and she ended up in the most terrible mess.
It was time for the grooming parlour!
I arrived at the brilliantly named Matted Moggies and Dirty Doggies feeling embarrassed at the nightmare that the groomer was about to endure. I was already apologising as I entered the shop and explained that bathing Yazmin would likely be a near death experience. I promised to pay any medical bills that ensued and said that I would totally understand if they were forced to abandon the session.
I felt a little foolish characterising the cute looking kitty in the carrier as the terminator but I had the scars to prove that she was a match for anyone. The groomer gave me a brief tour of the facilities as I had never been there before. I noticed all the shampoos that he had and told him that Yazmin the Terrible had always been bathed using dog shampoo. Matted Moggies had a more appropriate variety which apparently worked miracles on Persian coats.
Anticipating a Blood Bath
I left Yazmin at the grooming parlour for a couple of hours and then faced the ordeal of picking her up and grovelling for forgiveness. When I finally plucked up the courage to return, the groomer was happily working on a Dalmatian and appeared to have no wounds. I asked how things had gone and he informed me that Yazmin was an angel. She had happily stood in the bath, she hadn’t batted an eyelid at being shampooed and she had laid down peacefully to allow the groomer to brush her. She was sitting in the corner looking beautifully pampered.
What a scheming, deceitful and ungrateful cow! She had beaten me again. I now looked like the world champion of drama queens and an idiot of epic proportions.